Why 'Gay Marriage'?

By Dan Kirk on 04/02/2009 @ 01:26 PM

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Dan Kirk

I want to talk to you about marriage equality.

I want to talk to you about gay marriage.

Take a moment out of your day. Go to a local shopping center or other public place, and tell people the two statements above. When you say the first sentence, how many people do you think will immediately know what you are talking about? How many know exactly what you are talking about with the second one?

While we within the LGBT community like to talk about terms likes ‘marriage equality’ to describe our fight for the legal recognition of our relationships, most people in this country don’t. Yes, the issue is about equality of our marriages, but the topic we are discussing is gay marriage, and it’s time the LGBT community proudly, and unapologetically discusses our support for gay marriage.

Whether it is the local newspaper, the nightly news, or people standing at the proverbial water cooler, the term most often used to discuss LGBT relationships is ‘gay marriage’. Google and other search engines will see that term far more than they will ‘marriage equality’ or other similar terms. While we inside the community see this as our fight for marriage equality (and rightly so), the people we need to reach, the people we need to convince to support us, see it as ‘gay marriage’.

That is why we are calling this site and our organization ‘Yes on Gay Marriage’.

As we have known for many years, it is when family, friends, and others get to know LGBT persons, when they see us as individuals and families their opinions change. When they see the issue as being about real people, people they know or at least know about, their views change. Instead of it being just an impersonal issue, it becomes personal. That is why we are working to get our stories out there, so that when people hear ‘gay marriage’ they are able to put real faces, real stories with the issue.

The bottom line is that no matter what we think about the issue, it is the rest of the country that we have to convince. Let’s get the conversation stated the right way, so they know what we are talking about: gay marriage.

Dan Kirk has been active in the LGBT rights movement for sixteen years, starting with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” debates in the early 90s. Helping to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act has become one of his highest priorities.