Reflections on Iowa, Vermont and DOMA

By Dan Kirk on 04/09/2009 @ 01:26 PM

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Wow, what a week this has been so far! Vermont, the state that first gave us civil unions, has gone full bore and given us gay marriage. Iowa, the state that gave us Barack Obama as a viable candidate for President, also gave us marriage rights this week. Meanwhile Californians wait for their Supreme Court to make a decision on the voter-approved Proposition 8.

My ‘partner’ (since we were foolish and didn’t get married before Prop 8 passed) and I have had an argument since the day we first met. That argument has actually been about marriage, and how we obtain it as gay & lesbian couples. He supported the court efforts as the best way, and while acknowledging the success of the court-based efforts, I’ve long supported going to elected officials or the voting public. This week we both got a victory by our preferred methods. Iowa gave us marriage rights by court decision, and Vermont’s state legislature did what California’s could not – override the veto of a governor to give us our marriage rights by legislation.

Unfortunately there’s something that both states cannot give their people: Federal recognition of their relationship.

Newly married couples in Iowa and Vermont are in for a few harsh lessons as they finish celebrating their marriages. Here in California where we have statewide domestic partnerships, and in states like Massachusetts where marriage is long-established, gay couples have found that the recognition by their state is blocked at the federal level, and it costs them money. Sometimes a lot of money.

The state will require you to file taxes as a married couple, and at the same time the federal government requires you to file as a single person. In order to do this, gay couples have to fill out four tax returns and actually file three of them. The one they don’t fill out is the federal joint return used to complete the state joint return. The real irony is that when you fill out that join federal return, you find out just how much extra money you’re paying in federal taxes thanks to DOMA.

If your new husband or wife is not an American citizen, remember that because of DOMA they are not automatically granted a green card. As far as immigration is concerned, they are still single. Also, if you travel outside the United States, don’t think about filling out the customs forms for married couples. You will be detained until you fill out the proper forms for single people. After all, you’re not really married in the eyes of the Feds.

Otherwise, congratulations on getting married in Vermont and Iowa! We only have 46 more states to go, and of course the federal government to deal with!

Dan Kirk has been active in the LGBT rights movement for sixteen years, starting with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” debates in the early 90s. Helping to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act has become one of his highest priorities.