Meet the In-Laws
By Jo Meleca-Voigt on 07/07/2009 @ 01:26 AM
I call my wife’s father “Dad” … to his face. But, what do I call him to others? I refer to him as my father-in-law. But, is he really? “In-law” we are strangers. I take “in-law” to literally mean that when people marry, each other’s families become legally like their own. My “father-in-law” refers to my wife and me as “my girls”. He has entrusted me to be the person his precious little girl, his only daughter, will spend the rest of his life with. He knows that she is happy and loved and cared for. I don’t ever feel treated differently than his son’s wife. He has accepted me as his daughter-in-law, but my government has not. So, if in law my wife’s brother and father are strangers to me, is it appropriate for me to call them “in-laws”?
I am strongly of the opinion that if I call them anything other than my “in-laws” they become less important… and I respect and love them too much for that. Even though the term indicates a legal relationship, most people don’t process the word “law” when they hear “in-laws”. The term is more about an immediate recognition that a person is referring to their spouses’ family or their families spouses.
For now, I will continue to refer to my wife’s family as my in-laws with an eye towards the day when the law catches up to us.
Jo Meleca-Voigt is a teacher in Greece, NY. She lives with her wife Christine and their two cats, Casey and Kennedy. She enjoys traveling and is proud of her Italian heritage.
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