All Kinds of Coming Out

By Jo Meleca-Voigt on 04/02/2009 @ 01:26 PM

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I started coming out as a gay person 16 years ago. And while coming out has been a phrase adopted by the LGBT community to describe the process of self discovery and public acknowledgement of our sexual orientation, coming out is more broadly a metaphor for exiting the darkness of denial, secrecy and ignorance of any situation. And coming out in favor of gay marriage is on the political rise.

Over the past few days there has been a flurry of high ranking politicians coming out to proclaim their support for marriage equality for same sex couples. This support is coming from Democrats, Republicans and those in between. Who says we can’t unite across party lines to get things done? And how amazing is it that reach is coming in support of gay marriage?

On March 23rd, Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer of New York became the highest ranking member of the U.S. Senate to come out in support of marriage equality and the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act.

Three days later, I received an email from the office of Independent Mayor of New York City entitled “Mike Bloomberg’s Support for Marriage Equality”. It started out “Last night, at the 3rd Annual LGBT Community Center dinner, Mayor Mike Bloomberg reiterated his strong support for same sex marriage …” As they say, coming out isn’t an event, it’s a process!

The same day as Bloomberg’s reiteration, a Republican named Steve Schmidt, who was chief strategist for John McCain’s presidential campaign, came out in support of gay marriage in the Washington Blade. Furthermore, he encouraged Republicans to stop using divisive social issues such as gay marriage to incite their base.

Let’s not stop by celebrating the fact that it is no longer the political taboo and death knell that it once was to endorse LGBT rights. We need to encourage MORE politicos to come out in support of equality. I am excited for the changing tide, but I wonder where the tipping point is? When will it become a political stigma to NOT support marriage equality for same-sex adults? And, what do we have to do to get there?

The answer is our own coming out. Living our lives authentically, openly and honestly will let people make a true determination about their support. When they see that we are consenting adults in loving relationships who simply want to care for the person who makes us whole, denying marital rights is increasingly realized as unconscionable.

Jo Meleca-Voigt is a teacher in Greece, NY. She lives with her wife Christine and their two cats, Casey and Kennedy. She enjoys traveling and is proud of her Italian heritage.